Ice Cream Social
by Laryna6
Summary: DMCGood Omens crossover. What does Dante do when he meets another demonspawn who averted the apocalypse? Buy the kid ice cream.


_Disclaimer: I own neither DMC nor Good Omens._

_GO takes place 6000 years after the earth was created on October 21, 4004 BC (the earth's a Libra!), so that makes it about 1996 that the Apocalypse doesn't happen, in between DMC3 and DMC1. _

_If you haven't read Good Omens I heartily recommend it. Critics call it, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Apocalypse." _

_This was prompted by the thoughts that A, Adam's probably going to want to get to know any other devils or part-devils out there because he's trying to figure out his own identity, and B, if Crowley can figure out there's probably going to be a war with Heaven & Hell versus Humanity, Adam can too and might go looking for allies. And who better than someone whose life is already dedicated to stopping Hell conquering Earth? _

_GO Spoilers! _

_In brief, Hell loses track of the Antichrist, who when the end of the world comes when he's 11 decides the world is really cool and he doesn't want it all destroyed, so he saves it with the help of the representatives of Heaven and Hell, who have been on earth since the beginning and also decided they rather like the place. Which is a criminal oversimplification, but… _

_DMC – _

_Dante is the son of the legendary Dark Knight Sparda. Two thousand years ago a devil named Mundus tried to take over earth and Sparda stopped him. He married a human woman, Eva, they had twins, and then something happened to him. Eva was killed when the boys were children. Dante works as a mercenary demon hunter. _

_-_

The first thing the kid had wanted to do was get ice cream. Dante figured that was the least he deserved, so they'd headed to a Baskin Robbins. The kid had been satisfied to find out that America really did have a whole bunch of flavors of ice cream. He'd ended up with a cone with a scoop each of mint chocolate chip, butter pecan, and raspberry, and licked it during the ride back to Devil May Cry in the motorcycle sidecar.

Dante had noticed the rains of frogs and other SIGNS. You'd have to be an idiot or a rational person not to.

And he'd gotten calls from both Crowley and Aziraphale asking him to find and kill the Antichrist.

He'd told both of them to go to hell. He wasn't going to take orders from either of them. He'd have killed them if he could, but he wasn't that crazy. Mundus was one thing. Declaring war on _all_ of heaven and hell? Besides, they'd just get new bodies. Bastards.

"That's right. It's not good to keep messin' with people's heads." Smart kid.

But he'd poured over maps and tried dousing. No luck, which had been frustrating, but he hadn't really expected anything.

And then the lights had gone out all over the world and someone had called him hoping against hope he could do something about every weapons system, nukes and all, getting ready to go off.

He'd gotten ready to defend as much as he could for as long as he could.

At least now the end had arrived Satan would be regaining control of the Underworld, deposing Mundus. He might even get killed in the battles. Though Dante wanted to kill the bastard himself, not let some Archangel do it.

He'd known he should hope for heaven to win, because at least then some people would be happy, but he knew because he was half demon he and everyone he knew (even Mother, for having kids with a devil) would have their souls destroyed. Blown out like candles, no life no hope.

Not that he'd been looking forward to being tortured. He'd made enough enemies… and he'd been planning to make more, defending this city as long as he could.

But then everything had just stopped.

"I don't suppose they'll _ever _let me get a motorcycle." Adam was sitting on Dante's desk now, kicking his legs idly as he licked the dribbles of the ice cream cone. Now that Dante was looking right at him, now he knew, it was obvious. Blond hair, blue eyes, the kid looked like an idealized statue. Just like Dante. Too beautiful to be real. No, too beautiful to be human.

"They?" Dante asked, leaning against the wall.

"My parents." Lick. "It'll probably be years and years until they let me get a car. Just 'cause I wrecked it _once_."

"You wrecked it?" He was what? Eleven? Twelve?

"Me an' Pepper an' Wensley an' Brian wanted to go to the ocean. We've got a really great pond, but the ocean's even bigger." Lick. "Really pretty, even though it's all polluted. But I shouldn't clean it up."

"Pepper?" The Antichrist had the power to alter reality. He could clean up the ocean, Dante realized, as easy as he could get his parents to give him a motorcycle.

The kid had shown up in his office right after the chaos had stopped, Nevan cooing over him until he'd told Dante who he was. Dante hadn't sensed a thing until then, and he normally could tell a demon on sight.

"She's my friend. They're all my gang." Lick, legs swinging. "Her mom called her Pippen Galadriel but don't call her that 'cause she'll beat you up."

"I bet." Dante smiled. Friends… he had Lady, and his demons. Well, he had Nevan, Ebony and Ivory. None of the others really understood the idea.

"You can be in my gang too."

"Huh?" The Antichrist wanted to recruit him?

"You don't like people bein' messed around either. Your dad's really famous 'cause he stopped people being messed around and taken over." A few quick licks.

Everyone knew about Pops. "So why would I want to join you? I'm on nobody's side but my own."

"No, you're on people's side. They," he pointed up and then down, "need to stop messing people around just to prove who's got the better gang. They tried to make me help destroy the whole world, and there's a lot of cool stuff in it I want to see. And a lot of people."

Dante nodded. "You've got that right."

"You're a grown-up, so you probably don't want to play in the quarry with all of us. But," lick, "You're really strong. So if they try to fight again you'll be a big help."

"Me, strong? The demons say that, but I can't even find Mundus." He normally wouldn't admit his mission to anyone, say anything that would destroy his careful image of an unbeatable punk. But now he wanted to look weak. Get involved with the Antichrist? Sure, he liked the kid, but it was part of the kid's nature to be likable, just like Dante had women throwing themselves at him.

"You're going to get stronger, like me. An' people are getting stronger. I 'spect they'll get even stronger then them eventually, if they don't get messed with."

Dante snorted. "Humans are no match for the Underworld, let alone both of them."

"Maybe. But I'm just a kid, and I stopped 'em. Well, Pepper an' Brian an' Wensley an' some grown-ups an' a couple of 'em helped too," he noted conscientiously.

"Wait a minute, a couple of non-humans helped you?"

"Crowley and Aziraphale. His books got burnt up, so I put them back. Well, not 'xactly. I gave him better books. But I need to not change things because if I do things for people they'll 'spect me to do _more_ things for them and they need ta do stuff on their own."

"_They_ helped you? The demon and angel in charge of 'messing with people?'" Dante stared.

"Well," lick, "They've been helping you, kinda."

"What!" His eyes narrowed. He didn't want any help from them!

"Well, Crowley's helpin' you 'cause you're halfa devil even though you fight demons, but he kinda liked your dad. An' Mr. Aziraphale and your dad both liked books a whole ton, so they were kinda friends even though Aziraphale said he was talking with him to try to get him to team up with heaven an' be an angel again, only he kept saying no." Adam clearly approved. "'Cause then he would have gone up to heaven and no one would have been protectin' people. I need to stay around 'cause of that even though it's really hard to be a human bein'. And 'cause I want to stay around 'cause there's a lot of cool stuff I haven't seen yet and I have to make up games for Pepper and Wensley and Brian."

"I bet." It was hard enough for Dante, hard enough to not rip knobs off of doors, hard enough to not kick through walls, hard to not grip spoons enough to bend them, and he had 24 years of practice. And a lot less power.

"Aziraphale got told to kill you when you were kids. But he said he couldn't beat your Mom an' then that he couldn't find you until you were a grown-up. An' Crowley keeps telling Hell that people'll do more bad stuff if they don't think Hell exists an' they won't get in trouble, so they shouldn't take over an' stuff. Which I don't think is right because I do a lot of stuff even though I'll get in trouble 'cause it's fun." Lick, the raspberry was almost all gone."

Dante smiled, remembering the stuff he had gotten up to with Vergil when they were kids. Which made him think of Vergil and that almost ruined the good mood he had from the world's doom being averted.

"It's too bad about the messin' around 'cause I bet you'd be really fun to have in our gang. But you're grown-up. I could make you a kid again an' maybe I should 'cause you barely got to be a kid, but that'd be messing you up." Lick.

"You try anything and I…"

"You couldn't stop me. But I won't do anything, 'cause it's just not right." Lick. "People need to figure stuff out for themselves, an' maybe they mess up a lot but it's the only way. Like Pepper an'…"

"That's great, and thanks for saving the world," it stung, that he'd been so useless, "but I'm not going to work for you. Unless you hire me."

"I'm not sayin' I want to boss you around, because I don't want to do that kinda thing." Lick. "I'm just saying that if they start to mess around people again that you'll help stop them. 'Cause you're a hero, like in movies an' stuff."

"Not unless there's money in it."

Adam gave him a look.

"A guy's got to eat." Dante shrugged as Adam noticed some of the melted ice cream got on his hand. "Bit off more than you can chew?"

The melted ice cream disappeared, then reappeared: Adam licked it off his hands. "I 'xpect I can do it."

"What do you need me for, then?" He might be the son of _a_ devil but not _the_ devil. He wasn't in Adam's league. Adam. The first human, life breathed into him by god. He wondered who had named him. They probably had malice aforethought, just like Dante's own name. Though he hadn't gone into hell yet, and Vergil probably wasn't in any shape to guide him.

Adam sighed. "'Cause you don't want to stand around an' do nothing while everybody gets killed."

"You're offering me power? No thanks." He'd had a hard enough time accepting his own devil powers. He didn't want anything from somebody else. He didn't want to become dependant on anyone, even if he had saved the world while Dante did nothing because there was nothing he _could_ do. "You _could_ still be working for Hell. They might have worried they would loose the war and wanted to postpone it. I'm not going to be tempted, sorry." He glared slightly to show he was serious. Adam seemed unperturbed, continuing to eat his ice cream cone.

"I don't _want_ everyone to worship me like it says in that book. I don't like big boring books, and I don't like books that lie to people. Anyways, it'd be boring to have to sit on a throne all the time and have people bow and give me things." He shook his head. "My father wouldn't like being worshipped either, and he'd make me stay home and not let me play with my friends if I made people bow down an' stuff when he's trying to work."

Dante thought for a second. That didn't sound like Satan. "You have a human father? Adopted, right?"

"He's my _real_ father. I don't call somebody who never gave me a present or came to see me or _anything_ my _real_ father." Adam pouted. "He just wanted me to do something an' he got angry when I didn't even though there was no good reason for any of it, just seeing who had the best gang."

"Best gang?"

"Them and them." He pointed down and then up. "They jus' want to beat each other. They should be thinking about more important stuff, like helping people have fun. If this is the Plan it's not a very good one, huh? Everyone running around and nothing getting done. Although that's fun sometimes too, but you still have to do the homework _eventually._"

Dante chuckled. "I bet you're a master of procrastination."

"I'm good at doing things! Just things that are there for good reasons, like making a swing so Pepper an' Wensley an' Brian an' me can play. Learning boring stuff I'll never use or wrecking all the cool stuff people worked to build aren't good reasons." Adam nodded firmly.

"So what do you want me for?" Dante raised an eyebrow.

"I _said."_ Grown ups never listened right. "You're gonna want to stop people getting messed up an' so do I. So when it happens we should work together."

"I guess that makes sense."

Finally, Adam's face said. Then he hopped down from the desk. "Thanks for the ice cream." He licked up the last of the butter pecan.

"Where are you going?"

"I've got to see bunches more people before my dad finds out I'm not in bed. Bye." Adam walked through the door and disappeared.


End file.
